Whoring is a business that puts one into contact with sadness. I’m not supposed to say that. I’ve reconnected with a few clients in the last few days, nervous for them, nervous for myself. Not that anyone’s in trouble, but that this kind of potential exposure can shake one’s convictions. For me, it’s my belief in the honesty of whoring. For them, their choice to pursue affection, connection, love.
Right now, holding sorrow, my first instinct is to be a caregiver. I’m heartbroken, and I’m — for the moment anyway — not able to do anything about it except to turn in and care for my own self. Which is the hardest thing to do. Which is why they hire, isn’t it? To be held.
Yes, exactly that.
Yesterday was a tough day for me – I didn’t respond to any press, just couldn’t take another day of that. I napped a lot, ate comfort food, got a little weepy.
It’s tough stuff, the media circus requires us to be ON, make snap judgments and be smart and professional. But media outings of sex workers hit a raw nerve for all of us.
Glad you blogged about this.