When Porn Actually Is Power

I get it: I can watch this girl, over and over. She writes to me, exploit this as you see fit, after I blog her and offers me a custom photo or video set. I go to her site. I’m restless after a day turned inside out by writing all night, and sleeping all day, and fucking again all night. I need this. Then I have this. As much, as long, as turned on as I want. I get it. I take it. Porn is the power to take, to possess. Is it my distance from having been the possessed that makes it obv.? My arrival at the desire to own this, even if she invited me? Because? Is this just me wanting evidence of my own fuck? Does porn care? Porn is no mirror. Porn is shifting light, sometimes in the shape of a girl, but mostly, in the shape of my need.[1]

I’ll wait to write to her until the morning.

[1] Rarely is it made in the image of my need alone.